Have you ever really thought you really knew a situation? I mean REALLY knew it, then all of the sudden a detail is revealed, and you realized you didn't have the foggiest clue in the first place? That when revealed, it shook your whole world? That's what life has been like for me today. I must be in some kind of blue funk. I've tried to shake it all day. I suddenly realized that a certain circumstance in my life is very, very damaging. Like a lightbulb popping over my head, I realized that the way I was also dealing with this situation is detrimental to my mental health. I found myself using unhealthy techniques that I thought that I'd abandoned in my teen years. I now realize that I must, at all costs, distance myself from the situation or I will suffer in the end. I really don't know why this suddenly occurred to me while I was at work, but I'm thankful for the moment of clarity. I'm glad that I realized early on, and I can hopefully avoid that path of pain and frustration. A poem, by the Moody Blues, that I really like, kind of sums up my realization for me today, especially the last passage. Maybe tomorrow will be better, and just maybe I'll have a happier, healthier outlook on life.
Breathe deep the gathering gloom
Watch lights fade from every room
Bedsitter people look back and lament
Another day's useless energy spent.
Impassioned lovers wrestle as one,
Lonely man cries for love and has none.
New mother picks up and suckles her son,
Senior citizens wish they were young.
Cold hearted orb that rules the night,
Removes the colors from our sight.
Red is grey and yellow white,
But we decide which is right.
And which is an illusion?