Have you ever really thought you really knew a situation? I mean REALLY knew it, then all of the sudden a detail is revealed, and you realized you didn't have the foggiest clue in the first place? That when revealed, it shook your whole world? That's what life has been like for me today. I must be in some kind of blue funk. I've tried to shake it all day. I suddenly realized that a certain circumstance in my life is very, very damaging. Like a lightbulb popping over my head, I realized that the way I was also dealing with this situation is detrimental to my mental health. I found myself using unhealthy techniques that I thought that I'd abandoned in my teen years. I now realize that I must, at all costs, distance myself from the situation or I will suffer in the end. I really don't know why this suddenly occurred to me while I was at work, but I'm thankful for the moment of clarity. I'm glad that I realized early on, and I can hopefully avoid that path of pain and frustration. A poem, by the Moody Blues, that I really like, kind of sums up my realization for me today, especially the last passage. Maybe tomorrow will be better, and just maybe I'll have a happier, healthier outlook on life.
Breathe deep the gathering gloom
Watch lights fade from every room
Bedsitter people look back and lament
Another day's useless energy spent.
Impassioned lovers wrestle as one,
Lonely man cries for love and has none.
New mother picks up and suckles her son,
Senior citizens wish they were young.
Cold hearted orb that rules the night,
Removes the colors from our sight.
Red is grey and yellow white,
But we decide which is right.
And which is an illusion?
Had a really nice weekend. Sunday, my cousin, Debbie, whom I've not gotten to see in 14 years, came home for a visit. It was really nice being together with the family without fighting. Who knows how long it will be before I get to see her again. Casey cooked a killer dinner for everyone on Sunday night. He grilled BBQ porkchops and made english peas and corn. Sure made for a hard time walking the dog afterwards. Monday, Casey and I went swimming. One of my little perks for working at a university is using the recreation center for free. It was a great day to swim. Casey did o.k. and managed not to get sunburn. I got a little, but nothing that can't be dealt with.
After having a great couple of days, the weekend ended on a depressing note, however. The local humane association that I volunteer for (it's operated completely by volunteers and NO paid employees) is thinking of completely disbanding. This cause is my absolute heart. We do so much good, and I can't believe that it may completely cease to exist. The problem is we don't have enough volunteers. Anybody got any good ideas for a great volunteer recruiting program?
Thanks for visiting. This is my first, very own, personal blog. A friend of mine recently got me reading her blog, and now I'm hooked! This is just a daily listing, rant, rave, or entry about the crazy goings on in my life. You see, I'm a dedicated animal lover with 24 of my own fur and scaled pets. I'm NOT even counting all of the fish aquariums at my house. I take care of all of these critters in between working full time, being a college student, and being a volunteer for the local humane association. Since I'm very new to this, please have patience with me, and keep in mind I have no knowlege of HTML. Hopefully, I'll have this thing looking snazzy soon!! Until then.....